Finding the perfect coach, mentor, healing practitioner and even a therapist can be a tedious journey. Yet when you know what you are looking for it is much easier to find it. In my 12 years of experience from both sides of the equation (looking for one and being one), I’ve gained the knowledge, wisdom and experience regarding how to choose that someone that will get you where you want to go, and in whom you will be willing to place your trust as well as invest your time and money. I'd like to share with you
The 12 Commandments
that I have found essential in finding the right coach for you.
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Commandment No. 1:
Choose a coach that integrates the Subconscious aspect in their work and not only the conscious aspect.
It is well known that whatever habit, pattern or behavior you’d like to change, whether it is procrastination, fear of success, lack of organization, motivation, feeling hurt or stuck, that source of that habit, pattern or behavior lies in your subconscious mind and not in the conscious mind.
So in order to achieve results sooner than later, the best way is to incorporate modalities (like NLP, Hypnosis, Neurological Repatterning, Forensic Healing,) that can affect your behaviors and habits on a subconscious level. That way, you will find yourself acting smart vs. working hard.
I’ve seen many people moving from one coach to another, from one modality to another feeling disappointed and discouraged because the process was not affecting them on a deep level, yet they felt that working with a psychologist or a psychotherapist was not exactly what they were seeking.
Commandment No. 2:
Choose a coach that helps you in implementing step-by-step what you want to accomplish – Not only discussing theoretically how you can implement what you want but also —
A. Helps you identify what’s in your way of implementing it.
B. Assists you in removing or resolving the challenge(s).
C. Suggests and brainstorms with you practical ways to go about DOING IT.
When I am saying “practical ways” it should be ways that work holistically with your life. Because, besides those things you want to work on, you also have a life. It is important that your coach will be able to see the big picture too. Or else overwhelm will take charge, and that just leads to chaos.
So, for example, if you just started a new network marking business and you still have a day job that you would eventually like to say goodbye to, and you also have a wonderful family with 2 or maybe 3 kids and a dog, all the variables should be taken under consideration when strategizing your next steps in moving forward.
Commandment No. 3:
Choose a coach that you feel you have Synergy with, who understands you, and has empowering ways to communicate with you.
You can sense all those in the first initial conversation. It should be someone that you feel excited about, inspired by, someone you are looking forward to talking to and that, each time after you have connected with them, you feel that you have moved forward. If you don’t feel the synergy, understanding, and open communication in the first conversation, then that person is probably NOT a good match for you.
Commandment No. 4:
Choose a coach that you can talk to before they start charging you.
After all, both you and your coach need to interview one another. The coach (most likely) will want to find out if they can really help, and you will want to find out if this is THE ONE (at least for what you are looking for at this particular time).
If a coach is willing to talk to you before they charge you, there is a great chance that they want to help first and make money second.
I have found myself helping people by directing them elsewhere just because what they have expressed required a different kind of guidance. When people are paying first before they know what they are paying for, the tendency could be to stick with that coach because they are already invested and not because that coach is the right one for them. They’ll start rationalizing why that coach is the right one, while they are actually not feeling so.
When there is a platform to get to know each other first, the choice that both you and the coach make to work together will come from a healthier place.
Commandment No. 5:
Choose a coach that gives you full value for your money. The only way I can convey this point is by sharing with you that there have been times when I have worked with a client and have noticed that the desired results were not happening. I brought this up with them and figured out what to do next.
There were times that I have fired my clients, either because our work came to a saturation point or because they were not taking full responsibility to help themselves. I've learned to only take on clients that are fully committed to their desires. That's why I give complimentary healing consultation so we can both see whether we are a good fit.
Your success is not in the hands of the coach or therapist, it is in your hands. The person you choose to work with will guide and help you to get out of your own way, to see your blind spots, but the responsibility is on you. Not just in therapy, with your finances, in your relationships and career. You are the one who leads all those and you hire someone who will help you to get there, guide and direct you.
As a client when I hired a coach, I knew what I was looking for and at times when that wasn’t delivered, I decided to move on. If you do hire a coach and they are not sensitive enough to your results, but you really like them and want to continue working with them, it is worth it to bring it up with them so you can both experience success.
Commandment No. 6:
Choose a coach that teaches you to be your own coach. Besides solving an issue that you have or having a breakthrough, it would be very beneficial to actually learn how you created that issue. This way, it is less likely your issue will come back.
Once you have the awareness how the issue was created ,you have more control over your life and that means that later on when other things come up for you, there is a greater chance you’ll be able to work through it and resolve it by yourself, because on some level you have been trained how to identify what is going on for you and how to stop it. This is a major "return on investment." I have clients that worked with me years ago, and whenever we have a chance to speak, they express how what they learned when working with me is still present for them, and they continue to utilize the tools to make a difference in their life (click here to find out what some of my clients shared).
Commandment No. 7:
Choose a coach that is solution oriented vs. problem oriented. When putting too much emphasis on the problem itself, the problem takes too much room. Law of Attraction is the best teacher I have encountered that teaches us that lesson.
Notice that your “chosen” coach is holding the right vision for you to step into so you can invest the majority of your time together on the possible solutions. That alone will already create a shift for you and will motivate you to act.
I’ve encountered numerous people that have stayed in a lengthy, costly process with coaches/therapists/counselors that came up with new problems for them to work on. Then they had to stop working with that “professional” because they ran out of money and they didn’t believe in therapy or coaching anymore. They developed a new belief that all of "that stuff” does not really work. And now, they have a few more problems on top of the original one.
Commandment No. 8:
Choose a coach that you feel you can trust and who is passionate about their work. You will clearly hear it in their tonality, see it in the spark in their eyes, and feel it when you are talking to them. When you listen to them for the first time, notice if they walk their talk. Also listen to yourself, to what the conversation with them does to you. If you feel good about the conversation, empowered and uplifted, then that coach might be the one for you.
Commandment No. 9:
Choose a coach that balances between listening and talking. A friend of mine shared with me recently that she had a coach that asked her at the beginning of every call what she’d like to focus on that day. After she answered, he started to go on and on, and she felt that she was listening to a recorded voice, as she could barely say a word.
That coach shared with her valuable information, yet it lost its value because there was no one to help her to take it step-by-step and incorporate the information in her business. The result was overwhelm and a poor use of her money.
You should be an active part in the session.
You gain a lot by bringing yourself to the process,
by being present, engaging and stating
what you would like.
My friend found that she wanted each session to be over before she started it. The problem was that in that case she didn’t hire that coach directly, he was assigned to her as a part of a program that she took. He was already the second coach after she had requested to switch from the first one.
So here is another tip.
Request to "interview" (simply talk to) the coach that you'll be working with before you sign-up to a program that includes coaching. Make sure that you follow the eleven commandments mentioned here when you "interview" your assigned coach.
Commandment No. 10:
Choose a coach that in addition to the above keeps you accountable in a practical way. Because let’s face it, even though we both know that most of the work is done between the sessions, if your coach is not addressing the goals and intentions from session to session, then it is easy to lose track and to get away from achieving results.
If you are choosing to incorporate past life regression as a part of your process, because you believe there are some blocks you carried with you into this lifetime, then it is important to resolve the issues in the physical world and in your current reality and not just on the spiritual level.
For example, let’s say that in one of your previous lifetimes you were very poor and you believe that you carry that karma and, in this lifetime, whatever you do, you are not becoming as wealthy as you would like, then besides resolving the karmatic part, you want your coach to help you with "what’s next"? What to do now after we released the block? Because if they don’t, you will be left with a great story, but you won't know how to proceed and truly become wealthy. When your coach has the confidence to lead you, they will be assertive about the next step too and will make sure that you are not shooting your own foot by being only spiritual and not practical.
Commandment No. 11:
Choose a coach that listens underneath the spoken words — because you may say one thing while underneath you might experience something that is totally different from what you have expressed. You want to work with someone that can “read” that even over the phone.
We live in our own bubble. A great coach is the kind of person that does what it takes to help us to get out of our own bubble. The mind is too smart and many clients can make their lives more complicated they need to be. If your coach can show you (again in an empowering way) the way out of that bubble, then you probably have found an excellent coach.
Commandment No. 12:
Choose a coach that has the credentials, knowledge, and experience in the field you are looking to be coached in. Measure them according to their real-world results, not their theories or claims.
So although it is important that a coach would have appropriate professional training, in many cases their life experience will speak for itself. It doesn’t mean that if you are looking to grow your network marketing team, your coach necessarily needs to have their own team. Your coach doesn’t even necessarily need to be involved in network marketing — what is more important is that they know and understand the challenges of a network marketing business, have the professional tools to help you and have experience in working with network marketers.
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So now you understand that choosing the right coach for you can be a very conscious process, in which you are aware exactly what you should look for.
You do not need to "rely on" gambling, but can freely choose if the person that you were referred to, that you found on the internet or that you just bumped into at a networking or a social event, might be the perfect match for you.
You are now equipped with the right pieces of information to help you in making the best decision when choosing to enter into a relationship with a coach.
I hope I was able to save you money, time and energy by sharing with you from my experience.
You are welcome to apply for a complimentary healing consultation with me so can start walking the path of clearing the blocks that may be standing in your way to feel better today. Click here, watch the short video and follow the steps to apply.
Meanwhile, many blessings and much love to you and may you experience freedom, health, prosperity, happiness and love, every day you are living on this earth.