Let’s face it. When stuff happens we have an emotional reaction to it, all the time!! For examples, when a family member says something they shouldn’t or when a client is not showing up to a scheduled meeting and doesn’t communicate it with you.
When you are consumed with worry and you are not sure where the money for next month’s rent is coming from. When you feel like you are getting older and your body changes with pain here and stiffness there…
When someone you consider to be your friend never calls or initiates getting together. And there are so many other things that can happen to us.
We get hurt, offended, or disappointed. We feel disrespected, ignored, and unappreciated. We feel helpless, hopeless, and discouraged. We feel, feel, and feel some more, all day long.
For some of us, it is really easy to dismiss or put our emotions aside. If they are intense, we can’t function. Yet for others, like the empaths among us, it is not simple AT ALL. We (yep, I’m like that, too) FEEL EVERYTHING.
We feel what other people feel and we take on their feelings. And we feel our emotions very deeply, many times to a degree that stresses us and puts a toll on us, both physically and emotionally. And instead of enjoying our lives, we feel many times like we need to cut through a thick jungle with a machete or, in short, – we suffer.
There are four keys to move away from the suffering that we inflict on ourselves through our emotional reactions.
Key no. 1.:
Recognize what you feel.
Recognizing what you feel will allow you to step outside the feeling. When you are recognizing that you feel disappointed, hurt, helpless, etc., you are no longer in the bubble, but you are realizing that there is a bubble around you. This realization is the first key to actually start changing something.
Key no. 2.:
Identify the source of the feeling.
Something caused you to feel the way you feel. There are many possible reasons and they may have taken place on different levels.
It may be that you are hungry or didn’t get enough sleep (physical). It may be that your mom asked you again when you are going to get married (emotional). It may be that there are negative people where you work (energy). It may be that you have not prayed or meditated this morning (spiritual).
When you are aware of the immediate reason as to why you are reacting the way you are, you open a door to changing it. You give yourself back the power to do something about it.
When you are not aware of what is causing you to react, you are shooting in the dark, feeling like you are doomed to feel this way, locked in your emotional state until – whenever.
Identifying The Source Of Your Feeling Can Be The Beginning Of A Liberating Healing Process.
The “source” may be one of the above or similar, yet there may be a deeper source. For example, if you have a certain way of being a victim (a pattern) and you feel that a large percentage of the time, unfair things happen to you, it will be very beneficial for you to address that “source,” so you don’t need to work through so many upsets.
Key no. 3.:
Shift your feeling.
Now that you have a clearer vision of when your reaction started to form, you also have the power to change course. I know it’s easier said than done, yet I can promise you, that with practice, things can shift. You may need some support, yet, you CAN start on your own.
Our Body Registers An Emotional Reaction−Chemically. When A Reaction Is Repeated Over And Over Again, We Can Become Addicted To The Emotion (And The Habit) That Produces The Chemicals That Run Within Us.
When we start looking at our emotional reactions from this angle, it only makes sense why it is not easy to shift certain reactions that we wish to change.
Key no. 4.:
Do something about it.
Take action in the direction that will lead you to your happiness and living life the way you wish to live it.
So for example, if it’s a family member, a spouse, or a child, you could start setting some clear boundaries. You cannot let that person press the same buttons for you. You can blame them all that you want, yet aren’t they here for a reason? Aren’t they in your life to show you something about you that only they could show you, i.e. to set clear boundaries?
How long will you point the finger at them, not take responsibility, staying small and holding onto being a victim?
It’s your decision!! When you see a clear boundary you no longer will be treated the way you dislike being treated. The other person has to adjust to you.
Feel free to leave a comment with your specific situation. You will most likely experience a breakthrough if you go through keys one thru four and write what you notice about your situation.
Here are the keys again:
1. Recognize what you feel.
2. Identify the source of the feeling.
3. Shift your feeling.
4. Do something about it.
Meanwhile, many blessings and much love to you and may you experience freedom, health, prosperity, happiness and love, every day you are living on this earth.