Negative relationships can be very VERY draining. We all have at least one or two and usually more people in our life that are not bringing us much joy and on a worst case scenario actually contribute to our suffering.
If it’s once in a while this happens and you are able to let it go, then it’s not that terrible. But sometimes we are in a position where we must engage in negative relationships and we don’t know how to change it. So if you have landed on my blog, I bet you are ready to truly free yourself from negative relationships.
I’d like to share with you a few
tips and tools that will help you to:
1. Minimize your negative relationships.
2. Know what to do when you find yourself engaging in negative relationships.
How to experience less negative relationships
with other people and enjoy more positive ones.
Tip no. 1. Minimize time spend with them. For a period of time as much as possible, simply reduce the time in seeing that person or talking to them. If you are not able to do that because you are living with them (like a roommate, sibling, relative, etc) or you are responsible for taking care of them (like taking care of a sick parent, spouse, and so forth), then start implementing what I suggest in section number two.
I had a close family member (who I love dearly, I just didn’t love the way I was treated by him) that continually put me down and I felt so disempowered by him. I decided to distance myself from him. I spoke with him very minimally on the phone and I didn’t go into topics that I knew would stir up arguments, conflicts, and more reasons to put me down. I felt that I was not respected by him and I couldn’t stand that. I’ll tell you later what I did while taking some time away from him.
Tip no. 2. Declare you are on a negativity detox. If you can’t really take some distance from them, then what I highly recommend you do is to decide first that you are going on a negativity detox, and go for it. Basically, what you are doing is you are cleaning your energetic environment and conversations from negativity and so you cannot be engage in negative conversations or be exposed to negative people and so forth. You can say that you read somewhere (which is completely true) that negativity is really harmful, it causes stress and we all know that stress can lead to serious health issues, and you are not interested in that.
So for example, if they say:
"Oh, I had such a bad day, the car wouldn’t start and I was waiting for the tow truck to come and it took them forever”
….and blah…blah…blah… the whole world is against them, the whole world is wrong, and they are right and so on. You can say:
"(Name of the person), I’m sorry to cut you off, but I need to tell you that I am on a (30, 40 whatever number you choose) 30-day negativity detox and I can’t be engaged in negative conversations. So I want you to know that I love you (if that’s the case) and I care about your life and I want to listen and be there for you, but we need to reorient the conversation a bit. Were there any good things that happened today?" or "Do you want to tell me how the situation you wanted to share with me was resolved?" or "Do you want to brainstorm about solutions to the issue?"
Whichever is relevant to what’s going on, just shift the conversation and feel completely comfortable to stop them again if they are go back to the negative side of the scale.
As you are starting to put the two options above in place, something very important you also want to start working on is YOURSELF.
Tip no. 3. Become emotionally strong. You want to become emotionally strong so when you find yourself in situations that in the past used to trigger anger, resentment, or frustration, they now no longer trigger it. It’s because you have grown so much that what used to be a problem is no longer experienced as a problem. It doesn’t throw you off like it used to, but goes away very easily and you are centered and at peace.
This is THE KEY to succeed with facing those negative people while you still feel good about yourself and empowered. And the guided visualization that I’m mentioning in the video above – “Disconnecting From Negative Relationships” is an amazing tool that can help you to get stronger and not only stronger, but also to let go and release whatever hurts and resentments you are holding onto in a given relationship. So you are both getting stronger AND freeing yourself from the emotional burdens.
Sections number 1 and 2 were referring more to relationships that you currently have, now let’s move to “random” negativity.
Random negativity appears in relationships that you have with people in your surroundings, like people you come in contact with who are in line at the market or post office. Also, people who sit in front of you in the movies and are rude, people who you bump into at a parking lot, people you may take a course or some training with; in short, random people that you are not necessarily going to have an on-going relationship with them.
Obviously, many times, it is not appropriate to argue with them. If they are angry or rude, in a way, you probably do not want to have anything to do with them, right?
True power is the power of
concurring one's own emotions
and if they are not able to do that; if they are angry and negative, more anger and negativity would not solve anything.
Here is what I mean by saying "become the light." In order to bring peace, positivity, and light you must first tap into that space yourself. So here is an action step to do in this kind of scenario: random people and random negativity.
Tip no. 4. Don't take their "STUFF." Simply remind yourself that the “gift” (the negativity) they are offering is their thing. You DO NOT need to accept their gift. It’s kind of like, you do not agree to participate in their “negativity game.” So in simple words, let them own their stuff, there is no need for you to take ownership yourself as it won’t serve you at all.
If possible, you can quietly move to another line. Just smile as if you didn’t notice their negative blurb, so you are moving away from their energetic space.
I had a client who attended one of my seminars where I addressed this topic and after she learned some of the strategies I’m sharing with you, she attended another seminar with 2,000 people. As she was finding a seat for herself, she said hello to the woman who was sitting next to her and as they were waiting for the presenter to come on stage she noticed that the woman next to her started to complain about different things. After a few moments, my client remembered that she really doesn’t have to sit next to that lady, so she said “excuse me” to her and went to find a different seat.
If it’s not really an option to get some distance from the person, you want to check in with yourself and see where are you vibrating.
Meaning, how do you feel?
Are you in a negative or positive space?
Are you feeling good right now or not?
Or if you are with another person or a group maybe someone else is vibrating on the negative side and attracting more negativity to all of you.
Whatever your findings are, you can take full responsibility. After all, on some level you have attracted this situation to the present moment and if you attracted this, you can also stop attracting it.
To shift the circumstances you can imagine that there is a purified-healing beam of light that is coming down from the infinite source of light. This purified-healing beam is cleansing you, cleansing your aura, and your surroundings. As it does that, your aura is starting to shine a beautiful bright light and you allow a layer of protection to form around you, putting you in the highest and best vibrational space. (You can also learn more about aura cleanse by clicking here) And that’s it!!
Don’t get attached to the outcome as you do this, sooner or later something will shift. And if you are in a good place with yourself you can also imagine that another purified-healing beam of light is coming down and shining it’s healing and beauty on the person or people involved, softening their heart, opening them for peace and love.
This is really really powerful.
Give it a try and let me know what was your experience.
Now something that you do not want to be engaged with is making that person/people wrong. They may be wrong, but that is not going to resolve much. It will put you in a space of blame, resentment, or ego, where you are right and they are obviously wrong. A place where you feel that you are better than them. A place where you are judging them and they are being judged and these are not the kind of vibrations that will give you peace and joy nor will it give them peace and joy.
These are not the vibrations that will make this world a super-amazing one to live in, and these are not the vibrations that will contribute to freeing yourself in your relationships. So let it go, it’s not about right or wrong, it’s about being happy and at peace and living our lives from an amazing and empowering place of joy in our relationships.
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I would love to read your comments. Tell me how you liked this post. What you are planning to do with this information. Ask questions. Come back to share what has opened up for you.
Meanwhile, many blessings and much love to you and may you experience freedom, health, prosperity, happiness, and love, every day you are living on this earth.
Founder of Infinite Realities International- Holistic Healing
Clinical Hypnotherapist, Master Results Coach & Forensic Healer
Sigal incorporating these modalities in her practice: Foot & Handwriting Analysis, The Grinberg Method, Past Life Regression, Reiki, NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programing) Neurological Repatterning, Clinical Hypnotherapy, Forensic Healing, and more. To learn more about Sigal and her work visit www.sigalzoldan.com
DISCLAIMER: This blog and it's content does not purport to offer any medical, psychological, therapeutic, religious, or other professional advice to users. The purpose of IRI programs, audios and diagnostic tools is for Vocational or Avocational Self-improvement. Participants are responsible for their own actions and results. Information provided within this program is of a general nature and is designed for educational purposes only. This information is not intended to replace "traditional" mental health counseling/therapy services. If you have questions or concerns about your physical and/or mental health, please contact your family physician and/or a licensed mental health professional in your area.